I don't like the noises from appliances or devices either. Everything I own is on silent, except my kids because I can't put them on silent.
It's always 5 o'clock somewhere! I can't stand people who cut in line either. People need to wait their turn!
Loved your opening- very clever! And yes, spam- beyond annoying!
Yes, I hate spam too. Weird, random, spam. Also, HATE laundry.
Oh yes! I veto any body on body contact in the heat. Even if it's just holding hands. No can do! And also? Cheers!