A much overdue blog post on my behalf.....what better way to jump back in than to answer one of Mama Kat's writing prompt...so here it goes....
1.) Share something your child taught YOU about parenting.
Today, August 29th, is my Mom's 85th Birthday. It has been a very hard year for her and for all of us. She had several falls and broke her hip. She will never walk again. Some days are better than others but she has alzheimers and sometimes doesn't know who I am. She is on hospice and we do not know how much time we have left to be with her. You may be asking "What does this have to do with the prompt?" Well, what I now know, thanks to my children, is to completely and whole heartedly THANK my Mom for what she did for us. I now know how hard it is to be a Mother and how much you give of yourself for your children. I understand all that my Mother would say to us because I am now living her life, although I just have two children and my Mom raised four of us. I now know to THANK my Mom for the countless loads of laundry she did, the millions of meals lovingly made, and taking us to our multitude of activities... sports, scouting, dance, recitals, school. I think it takes our own children to finally have the appreciation and understanding of what our parents experienced.. both the good and the bad. I also know that childhood goes by in a blink of an eye and suddenly you are all grown up raising kids of your own. I hope that my children will have the wonderful, carefree childhood that my Mom provided us. Someday, their children, my grandkids, will teach them what I now know.
I am here to apologize to you. It's been soooooo long since I last wrote a post. Excuses, excuses...yes I have plenty of those. Illness for me and then my Mom deteriorating big time. A major fall for her, and 3 week hospitalization right before Christmas. Alzheimers. It sucks. Imagine your very own Mom forgetting who you are. Calling you and others, including my Dad, other names. Sometimes I'm Barbara. My Dad "Andy" is George and now Jack. Upon putting my Mom back to bed one morning.. she looked at me and asked "Who are you?". I told her my name... spelling it out A... N... N...E but it didn't register. Then there are the hallucinations/dreams that are so real to her but nonsensical to us. I'm sure the aides must think she is living a wild life. Stories of parties and a train wreck she was just in. Didn't I hear about it??? It was all over the news. Smile, nod and redirect. Reassure. Did I mention... it really sucks? Memory snatcher, stealer... no good cheat... give her back I yell... I scream... I cry!
So, my blog... again I am sorry I haven't written. Somehow my heart isn't into it. My heart isn't into much these days. I am in the "sandwich" generation. Trying my best to take care of my family... both my own and my parents. And there I am in between...the peanut butter trying to hold it all together without falling to pieces.
Hope to write more. But I make no promises. No New Years resolutions. Just each day. Getting through each day. It's the best I can do for now.
Love, A... N... N...E....